Character Name: Raphael
Age: Created in 1984 and still a teenager! O cartoons.
Series: TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the Newest Movie)

Canon: Once upon a time there were four brothers who happened to be giant talking turtles. They were raised in the sewers of New York City by a giant talking ninja-rat named Splinter and thus learned to be ninjas as well. They spent their days goofing off, eating pizza, and saving the world from villains and it was pretty awesome.

Raphael is the hot head of the foursome and tends to magically find himself in the middle of fights he probably provoked, or else leading the team unprepared into a charge against a giant monster when he's not-the-one-that's-supposed-to-be-leading, dammit. But like his brothers, Raph is genuinely a Very Good Guy and takes stopping evil seriously, he just also gets a big kick out of well... kicking people, sometimes his own siblings, sometimes in the head. But only when they completely deserved it, really. And the (painfully obvious) secret truth is that his hard shell exterior is hiding a gooey turtle center that loves his family dearly and wants more than anyone for the TMNT brotherhood to live on strong. Even if it means he has to take orders from his annoying older brother, Leo.

Now, while Fearless Leader is back there teaching Raph Junior how to make their green hides one with nature, that should leave me with just enough time to do some real work. Like find the bad guy, beat em up and blow this joint before Mikey's bedtime.

Though after my first spin around the woods I think I can safely say that while those purple primates make mighty pretty tree ornaments, I dunno what Master Splinter and Leo were worrying so much about. There ain't anything here one turtle can't handle. Hell, the most dangerous thing about his place is the fresh air. Leo might be use to breathing in all this undiluted oxygen, but I've got plans to be back in the Big Apple before my blood starts thinning.

So, let's get down to business, eh? Word in the sewers is you guys got yourselves an evil director problem, plus one unhealthy helping of radioactive waste. Care to confirm or deny? Brains, huh? You don't say! Here I was just thinking you could use an extra helping of the good ol' gray matter. Well if you see a guy with a blue bandanna and his shell in a twist, let him know. He's big on charity and always yakking 'bout how he's got more of those to spare than me.

There you go, pal. That's right, your meal is thattaway. Look for the turtle shaped leaf.

Guess this means it's too late to do much about the radioactive waste bit. These poor bastards weren't even lucky enough to get the 'make me a badass' mutations. Sucks, but brings us to objective two: evil directors who experiment on people and need to have their tails kicked. These I can help with.

...Just as soon as I find the jerk. Lucky for me I got a idea even leader boy'll love, 'cause it uses the word 'infiltrate'. It just goes a little something like this -- Some dirt smudge here, a little drool there. One very empty, very mindless stare and just a dab of eau du zombie on the wrist, and I can go anywhere I want in this place without anyone looking at me twice.

Brains, dude.

How's that for stealth, eh?

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